I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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