Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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