we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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