I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize
