so that wasnt chicken after all
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize
