I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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