The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
