idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
