It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
