White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
