If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
