in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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