i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize