Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
