I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
