from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize