a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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