just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize