do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
