so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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