No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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