I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
