Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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