Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
