do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Even my vagina gasped.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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