No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
