tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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