Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
