Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
