I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
