By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
