WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
