No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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