I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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