they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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