dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
