Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
