I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize