dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
