my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize