Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
