this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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