i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
