3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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