Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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