The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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