WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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