i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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