The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
my shit smells like andre
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
