i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize
