Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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