i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
