what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
