I feel like abortions should bother me more
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
