yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I looked at my own cervix.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize