we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
A+ Viking dick
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize