Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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