please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
