I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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