areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize